Psalm 40

"Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them they would be too many to declare (so I’ll keep it as short as I can). I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly (that’s you all); I do not seal my lips, as you know, O Lord. I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly."

Good morning. It is good to be here as I am on a new journey, adventure, season if you will, that had me in surgery this last Monday. I had several calls from the staff this week asking if I was going to still be okay to share today, and I am glad to say that I am! In May I was diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma Insitu, a NON-aggressive, NON-invasive type of breast cancer. The term "Carcinoma" makes it sound like carcinogens, like I must have eaten too many burnt marshmallows or something while camping. It's still strange to say that I've had breast cancer; in fact, when it hit me that I really had cancer, I thought, "I'm a statistic – my name can go on one of those luminary bags at the Relay for Life. But I am going to be a good statistic, a survivor statistic, too." So surgery was the first stage, and I will then follow up with radiation for about 6 weeks.

Let me go to the beginning of my story:

My father was a sergeant in the army who fought in WW2, and it was during the Korean conflict that he met and married my mother. I say there was at least one good thing that resulted from that time in Korea -- ME. I am the youngest of three children, born in Kansas, and at the age of four we moved up to God's country – Washington state. I knew I wasn't in Kansas anymore when I saw snow-capped mountains instead of flat, flat fields, and we were fishing for trout instead of catfish and our dog's name was Pepe instead of ToTo.

I grew up in Tacoma and graduated from Franklin Pierce High School. After receiving my Associates Degree from Pierce College, I transferred to PLU, receiving a bachelors in Education majoring in Special Ed and Language Arts with a minor in Social Sciences. I taught at a couple of junior highs in the Puyallup School District, and during that time I took a couple of years off to be a dorm supervisor at a Prep school in Salzburg, Austria – the Sound of Music city and birthplace of Mozart. How could I not come back with some "culture"? In 1993 I obtained my masters of School Counseling from UPS. I was on Young Life Staff in Puyallup for five years. I then used my counseling degree at Chief Leschi in Puyallup, and because I got married to a man who lived on this side of the bridge, God so wonderfully provided a counseling job at South Kitsap High School in Port Orchard so I didn't have to cross the bridge every day.

Lamentations 3:19

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. YET this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I look back and can see God’s hand on my life, his mercies and his faithfulness.

When I was 14 my parents divorced, mainly because my mom got tired of seeing my dad's alcoholism grow worse every day. I could have moved out with my mom, but my security was my school and friends, so I learned to suck things up, put on a good show to the outside world and went into survival mode as my dad would get drunk almost every night. It was a hard nine years since I didn't move out until I was twenty-three after graduating from college.

My parents never went to church, but were always willing to take us if we wanted. There was actually a Sunday School bus that would pick me up faithfully. The church I attended was a "hell-fire-and-brimstone" church. I was basically scared straight – because I only saw God as this white-bearded, old-yet-powerful ruler with a lightening bolt in his hand ready to pierce me with it if I so much a looked the wrong way.

In high school I discovered a new church and the organization of Young Life. It was through this new body of believers and my YL leaders that I saw God's love. Thank you, Cindy Teitzel. (She was one of my Young Life leaders.) During my senior year of high school, I made a real, true commitment to follow God for the rest of my life. At the same time God began to show me that my dad was not my enemy – our relationship had basically dwindled down to loud arguments almost every night – he was a lonely, hurt man who the real enemy – Satan – had tricked into alcoholism to deal with his pain. I had to look beyond the alcoholism and learn to HONOR my dad for who he really was – kind, giving, gentle, loving – he just didn't quite know how to show it. I wouldn't be able to change my dad, but I could change MY attitude, MY heart – to see him through God's eyes. Only then did our relationship slowly mend. It wasn't easy – it took years – but with God's help, when my dad passed away in 1987 from complications that resulted from his abuse of alcohol, deep down in my heart I had no regrets about our relationship. My last thoughts to him were on a postcard I sent him while working in Austria, that said, "I was just thinking about you and wanted you to know that I loved you." That mended relationship is a miracle from God that I can claim.

God did the same with my mom. After I returned from Austria I lived with her for a year – fourteen years after the divorce – a-whole 'nother life time – for if you remember I was fourteen when she left. So here I was, twenty-eight, living with my mom to intentionally reestablish our relationship. She had been studying the Bible with a woman of the Jehovah's Witnesses religion. Because of some outside circumstances she stopped the study and eventually started coming to church with me. Two of the many differences we have from the Jehovah's Witnesses are that they don't recognize holidays and communion is reserved for only a select few. At Christmas time my step-dad and I had fun on Christmas Eve sneaking a tree into the house while she was out. I knew we were not in trouble when she pulled out old ornaments she had saved and began joining in the decorating. Probably the biggest gift I received was on Mother's Day when she took communion for the first time. She always told me that she would not take communion until she was ready to follow God. Another miracle.

Isaiah 40

"Those who wait (or hope) on the Lord shall renew their strength. They will soar with wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint."

What does "WAIT" mean to a single person? All around me society was shouting that I was only a partial person if I was single. Questions like – what’s wrong with me? Am I too short, too fat, too strong in character, not strong enough, the wrong ethnic background??? It's crazy what I thought as I grew older – and what felt like older. I am so glad that I didn't wait for marriage in the sense of sitting around waiting for "Mister Right". Someone explained that to "wait" also means to serve as a waiter or waitress "waits" on you at a restaurant. I have had great adventures "waiting on God" – volunteering with Young Life for many years, working at camps, working overseas, counseling students, singing, going on mission trips to Mexico, Russia, Kazakhstan, and the Ukraine.

I was content – most of the time – thinking that God had called me to a life of singleness. I was having a blast! All of the sudden here enters "Adam" to this "Eve". I jokingly say that God kept Bryan asleep like Adam while he formed me – "Eve" – until I was ready. I guess I was quite a piece of work, because I was thirty-seven when Bryan and I finally met. I know what you young ladies are thinking, "I hope he doesn't take that long with me…" I had just started counseling at Chief Leschi when we were given the go ahead to hire one more person to join us in the counseling department. I began to pray – for a MAN to balance male and female, for someone who had expertise in ELEMENTARY because my expertise was with the secondary students, for someone who had NATIVE AMERICAN experience because Chief Leschi is a Native American school and for a CHRISTIAN. Little did I know that God was adding "Husband" to that job description as well.

Bryan and I became fast friends and it was during our second year of friendship that we began our courtship. It was bumpy – he wasn't my type, I wasn't his type. He had been married before, I had saved myself for my future husband for 38 years. (and it was well worth it…) In June of 1999, we felt our wedding invitations should have read, "Believing that GOD has CALLED them together, because neither one of them believes that the other is his or her type, and although they have jumped over many hurdles and come kicking and screaming to the alter, Lillian and Bryan invite you to witness this blessed event."

I became an instant mom – with three incredible step-children (Ryan, Kaitlin and Keegan), and Bryan gained a step-dog. We soon had a son of our own (Kai). This year we are proud and broke as we have a child in each educational institution – elementary, middle school, high school and university. We can't wait for our pay raise in 2022 when the last one hopefully graduates from college…Amongst all the craziness juggling schedules, activities and such, sometimes I say to God, "I didn’t sign up for this…"

The past seven years have been quite an adventure. We have built a house and are still married, creatively parented – not without mistakes – been on mission trips and looking forward to more, volunteered with the amazing, awesome, students of this church and are looking forward to what lies ahead.

1 Chronicles 28:9

"If you seek him, he will be found by you."

One of the most important lessons I have learned I have heard since my youth – to LOOK. A dear friend of mine who discipled me for ten years always asked, "Where do you see God? What attribute of God’s do you see? Are you looking???"

On this new journey that is challenging my physical health, I'd have to say that I see God in YOU. Because my family let me down so long ago – parents divorcing, my sister and brother not being present – I swore that a goal of mine would be to become independent – that I would not need anyone. Kind of hard to do when I’ve put my life in God’s hands…And He is a God to be DEPENDED upon. I've had many years of independence as a single person, but being married puts a whole new light on things. In the past year God has been teaching me that it is okay to be dependent – it is not a sign of weakness – it is in those times that others are blessed as they offer themselves to help. In the past I would have kept all this cancer business as secret as possible, but God told me to swallow my pride and share and ask for help. We have been so grateful for all the cards; kind, encouraging words; e-mails; hugs; meals; prayers…You have lent us your hope. You have shown me the beauty of God's love as you have come alongside my husband who has felt so helpless through this process. I'm sure he looked like a whipped puppy at times. You have shown me the face of God.

Early on in this new journey when Bryan and I were driving home from some event, I had an urge to watch the movie "Cool Runnings". It's about the Jamaican bobsled team. It's not a movie that they show every other week…Anyway, we got home, I went to check my e-mail and Bryan went to see what was on the t.v. He shouted, "Guess what’s on?" "What?" "Cool Runnings!" "No stinking way!" As we watched, it came to the part where they were choosing a name for the bobsled. The lead man said, "Cool Runnings. It means 'Peace be the journey.'" God was reminding me that I have trusted Him with my life so far, why would I do anything less now??? By the way…the doctor called on Friday to tell me that there is no sign of cancer in my lymph nodes and that they got everything out.

Look for Him in your story. You will find him because he wants to be found even in the foggiest of times…

Tell His story. Tell of his righteousness, faithfulness, truth and love as you share your story with others to lend them hope when they are without hope, faith when they feel they have no faith at all and love when they feel unloved.

I pray that as you have heard me share my story today, and it has been an honor and a privilege, I pray that you have been given some hope.

Cool Runnings-Peace be your journey from the one who is the Prince of Peace. Amen!

--Lillian Ruth Amrine