2006 is a significant year for me. It's a year of milestones.

I was blessed with the opportunity to share with you some of my story on Father's Day. So those of you who were here, already know that I was raised in a Christian home with Godly parents.

I was the oldest of two growing up. My brother, Stephen, was 2-1/2 years younger than I. I accepted Christ at the age of four, with my mother.

Early on, I learned that God was faithful and trustworthy and in control. One night there was a thunderstorm. I was afraid of the thunder and asked God to please make it stop. He did - for about 5 minutes. Then it continued as it had before. But I knew then ... He was God. He heard me. He loved me. And He was in control.

My mother had been born blind. She had some sight, but I would be hard pressed to tell you what. She could see virtually nothing without her contact lenses, and then with them she was legally blind.

She was a special education teacher. My brother affectionately called her "the blind retarded teacher".

December - My senior year of high school, (I was 17) my parents heard on the radio that there was an auto accident. It had left the parents dead and the children struggling for life. One of those children was a 15 year old foster child my mother taught in her class. My Parents felt sure that they were to adopt her. Her foster brother was going to live with his grandparents when he recovered. She would have been put back into the system ... but, no. My parents didn't let that happen. They talked to Steve and I, listened to our feelings, which I might add had no room for sharing our lives with one of my mother's students, and then proceeded with the adoption.

One other thing you should know ... This would take away my status as "the only girl in the family". Not just my immediate family, but THE FAMILY. My Father was an only child (no competition from cousins on that side of the family). My mother had a brother who never married and a sister who had one son. I felt pretty safe with my identity of "one and only girl". But then there was Mary Beth. My status in the family changed and almost immediately, she began monopolizing my parent's time. She was physically needy: the accident had left her with a broken neck and a broken leg. She was emotionally needy. And she was mentally needy. I fled to my school friends and had a mini faith crisis. But in the midst of my crisis - God gave me a verse:

Genesis 28:15

And behold, I am with you, and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.

I believe that at that time in high school, God gave me my life verse.

Mary Beth came home to live with us in the early part of 1980. She recovered physically. My parents understood me, loved me, and never pushed me into a relationship with my new sister. God made it clear to me that I needed Him desperately and He remained faithful even when I was faithless. I graduated from high school and went to North Park College in Chicago, knowing we were now a family of five, but still feeling like I was only in a family of four.

The summer between my sophomore and junior years, 1982, my mom was diagnosed with Leukemia. As I was leaving to go back to school that year, my dad was leaving to take my mom to the hospital. She had been on chemotherapy, caught an infection and had a fever. I almost didn't go back to school. I ran to a family friend and asked if she thought that I should just stay home and be with my mother. She told me that our families had the same philosophy of life ... It goes on. Life goes on.

So, I went back to school. My mom recovered, went into remission, and in 1984 I graduated from North Park College with a degree in Nursing and my mother beaming form ear to ear. It was a joyous weekend.

Later that summer, while I was a camp nurse in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, my mother died. I had no regrets being away - Life goes on - I knew God had called me there. I knew He was God and He was in control. I didn't like the situation. I didn't understand it, but He was with me.

That summer I met Rob Dvorak. Rob was my friend. Rob was not the reason I stayed in Wisconsin instead of going home, but he was the one person I found comfort in whenever my mom went to the hospital that summer. He was the only person I could cry in front of when she died. Rob was not the type of guy I had envisioned marrying, but after coming to know him, I knew no other type would do.

We were married in August 1986. In November that year, he noticed some numbness in his right arm, mentioned it to a doctor friend of ours and then we didn't think much more of it. In January, while playing basketball, he was hit in the chest with the ball. In the next few days he was spiking a fever and coughing up blood. He was diagnosed as having Ewing's Sarcoma, a bone cancer that usually originates in the long bones. His was in a rib. There were two specialists in the U.S. who dealt specifically with this cancer. One was at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. The other was at Mass General in Boston. Rob's family lived in Topsfield, a small town about 25 minutes out of Boston. So we packed up that same day and moved to Topsfield.

Now, I had determined somewhere in my life that I was NEVER going to live with in-laws. And so guess where I was now? That's right. First year of marriage living in a city I knew no one except my husband and in-laws and living in their house. We had been married 5 months. The best 5 months of my life. And all of a sudden here I was scared, lonely, distressed, and still desperately trying to make a good impression on my in-laws. You know, I'm still trying to make that good impression. I had gone from the best to the hardest months of my life in less than a week.

This doctor's experience with Ewing Sarcoma had all been in the long bones. The procedure was chemotherapy, radiation and removal of the bone and surrounding tissue. In a long bone, arms or legs, that would mean amputation.

God is so good. He provided everything ... Rob's parents in town when the diagnosis was made, his family home in Topsfield where the doctor was, a job with great medical insurance and benefits to let us go out there for treatment and still keep our apartment in Chicago, another job which let me take a leave of absence at the drop of a hat, people to pray for us, and even the location of the tumor in Rob's body: which when taken care of left him with 2 arms and 2 legs.

Looking back, God's hand is dramatically seen, but in the midst of it, I felt so lost and alone and in the dark. It was hard to remember the promise. He was still God. I prayed, but did He really hear me? Was He really with me?

Rob's story, though parallel to mine is quite different. He was "at home". He was "at peace". I was a stranger in a far away land. I have never looked at this verse in light of Rob's cancer before, but it was there all along.

And behold, I am with you, and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.

The first thing they needed to do was start chemo, but before that we had to decide what we were going to do about children. As we prayed about it and talked about it, God made it very clear to me that He was the God of Sarah, Rebecca, Hannah, and Elizabeth. He was God. He was in control. He was the God of miracles. If Rob should live, if we were to have children, He could make that possible.

Chemo was started. That week 2 couples came to pray for us. We did not know them. They were our age and willing to come and pray. One of them had a vision of Jesus taking Rob's tumor into His own body. I believe Rob was healed that day. After 5 months of chemo, radiation and surgery it was confirmed that the cancer was gone.

August 1987. Our first Anniversary. A day that we thought may never come. There was great rejoicing and celebration. "We made it!"

Then came the wilderness years of my life. Somewhere here God gave me the promise of children. I heard it very clearly. I knew that I may have to wait until I was as old as Sarah or Elizabeth, but God would be faithful to His promise. I also felt that the promise was for biological children. But for six years, years that seemed an eternity, I had to wait. My friends were all having babies. I knew God was God. I knew He heard me. I knew He was in control.

But although I knew He loved me, I felt like He didn't love me as much as He loved my friends. If so, why? Why was He giving to them and withholding from me? I remember the night I was shown this deception and the fact that God made clear. "I love you! I have a plan for you. You follow me." So I picked my hurt body off the floor, dried my red eyes, and held on tightly to my promise.

During this time we had testing done and it was obvious that children would have to come from God. He remained faithful and reminded me of what He had promised.

I speed over it quickly, but six years was a long time. Now, Mother's Day is one of the great days of rejoicing for me, but for 6 years it was probably the hardest day of the year. (1) I was not a mother, and desperately wanted to be, and (2) I had no mother.

In December 1992, Rob got a phone call. I got home from work and he said, "Renee, sit down." I sat and looked at him strangely, my heart pounding. He had received a call from a pastor of a church we attended. They had been informed of a couple who needed to give their baby up for adoption. They wanted to go though the church, to make sure the baby was raised in a home of people who loved Jesus and would raise the child to do the same. Would we consider meeting them. I said, "Did you say, 'Yes!'? What are you waiting for? Call him and say yes." All this from someone who thought she could never adopt. Rob knew my response must be God given. My response caught him off guard, but when God changes a heart, He can do it quickly.

Joshua Stephen was born February 20, 1993. We met him on February 22nd and brought him home from the hospital on February 24th. A cuter baby I had NEVER SEEN. I believe God had ordained Joshua to be ours from the beginning of time.

March 1994 - miracle #2. I was pregnant. The doctor confirmed to me on the phone while I was at a women's retreat. We rejoiced in the fact that He who promised is faithful and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. The same women who had prayed and cried with me in the years before Joshua, now rejoiced in God's continued faithfulness and blessing.

October 3, 1994 - Robert Caleb was born. God had indeed been faithful to his promise.

One week later the ambulance was taking Rob and Caleb to the hospital while my dad was driving me. Caleb had trouble breathing. God had promised he would be given to us, but never promised how long we would have him. I knew there was no guarantee to how long life is. I'd seen it with my mom, with my husband, and now with my son. But after tests and a few days in the hospital, he was fine.

When God blesses, He opens flood gates. You know how they say, "be careful what you pray for ...." October 1995,1 was gaining weight, didn't know why.... Was as close to denial as possible. I was busy being the mother of two ... I didn't have time .... April 11,1996 Diana Kathleen was born. She was a joy from the very minute she was born.

And then I did receive my baby in my old age. On October 24, 2002 Deborah Anne was born. I believe she was given to us at Harbor Covenant to be a continual reminder that God is in control, hears our prayers, and is still in the business of keeping His promises.

So, here we are in 2006.

2006 - This year in April - I turned 44. My mother died when she was 43. For me this was a big milestone. My 43rd year was a difficult one for me. Not in the sense that I thought that my life would end as my mother's did, but just in the act of outliving her, lots of feelings came up. I have had to deal with the fact that I am growing old. I'm not the same as I was 20 years ago. I have 2 choices: I can accept it and grow old gracefully, or I can fight it all the way. On my birthday, I chose to accept it and grow old gracefully. To let God continue to lead me wherever He wants me to go, for however long He wants me to be around. This is a year of choice and new commitment.

2006 - This year in August, Rob and I will celebrate our 20th Anniversary. The marriage that we feared wouldn't last one year has lasted 20 - well almost... You see - one thing I've learned in all this - Never take tomorrow for granted. I have no promise for tomorrow on earth. I have no guarantee that I will, or Rob will, or my children will, get the next breath. But I have today. I have now. And I have a faithful God who will go with me wherever I go.